Tag Archives: Moon in Cancer

The Sibling – Mother experience: it’s all in the Moon

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I had a chat with my eldest son this evening, about the experience of mother.

I explained to him that he has a different mother from his siblings. He, naturally, looked at me as though I had lost my marbles. Stepfathers and half-brothers he can understand… but different mothers, when he knows full well I gave birth to them all…? Hell, he was being ushered out of the house past the birthing pool in the kitchen minutes before the last one decided to put in his appearance!

I told him it wasn’t that weird, really. I explained that my own four siblings and I have very different experiences of our own mother. And, when he thought about it, he could see that the way he saw and interacted with me was quite different from the way his brothers do. Which isn’t in any way evaluative, incidentally. From my subjective position ūüėČ I would say that not one of them has a ‘better‘ or ‘worse‘ relationship with me, but each is intrinsically different.

Well of course, I hear you cry, since all your children are different!

And yes, you have a very good point.

But, in keeping with the Lunar articles that have begun this blog, I would go a step further and say that it is also because their Moons are very different. Since Moon describes your mother-experience, and each of my children has a very differently placed and aspected Moon, does it not make sense that they each have a very different experience of me?

My eldest has a Cancer Moon: the Moon at her happiest, a devoted and nurturing home-maker of a mum. He was my first-born and for him I ordered a weekly organic vegetable box, pureed only the very best for his little body, clad his bottom in washable nappies and he never suffered once from nappy rash. The downside to this, of course, is that now that he has reached the grand old age of 11 and started high school, he feels the need to let me know it’s all a bit full-0n. Smothering, even. I need to take my cue and back off a bit. He wants to spread his wings – not the easiest of things to watch happen for a Cancer-Moon mummy.

Compare that to little Bertie: a Pisces Moon. Ruled by Neptune, his grasp of who his Mummy is is likely to be rather more nebulous and uncertain. He is more likely to experience his mother as an ideal that she is not always going to live up to. He’ll have a vision in his mind of who I am and will struggle with being disappointed that I cannot always attain that giddying height! There is a possibility too, I am sad to say, that he will see me as a victim and, conversely, with the Neptunian perfectionism, if I fail to live up to his ideal of ‘Mummy’ then he will feel like a victim.

Of course, as well as them, two of my children have Taurus Moons (a traditional and reliable Mummy, who knows that the way to our hearts is through a good plate of nourishing food; a pair of snuggly pyjamas and lots of cuddles) and, finally, one has a Leo Moon (a dramatic Mummy from whom we want lots of affection, attention and praise and, if we don’t get it, we may become rather dramatic as a result!) All very different, but all with the same Mummy. Me.

Interesting, then, that no matter if you bring your children up in exactly the same manner, with just the same type of mothering and love, their experience of you will be the very one that they need in order to grow, individuate, evolve and make the best of their path. And I say that advisedly because, as challenging a concept as it may seem, even if in spite of your best efforts their experience of you as a mother was not what you would have wished, it was what your children needed to best set them up to work through what they need to in this life.

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Moon in Cancer: the Comfort Zone

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Last week, my Little Cancer Moon began High School. He has reached the grand old age of eleven and has found himself flung upon the mercy of the big wide world.

His primary school, with its grand total of 70 pupils, is little more than an extended family: the major requirement for a happy Cancer Moon; and he was happy there. This is, of course, an understatement. He performed well in class, had good friends, his teachers were more like extra mummies than authority figures and there were many tears (all round) when he left in July. He was with his people.

Then High School happened, and with the natural exuberance that accompanies a rite of passage, he looked forward to it with a proper mix of excitement and trepidation. Suddenly, though, instead of a two-minute trot around the corner to school, he has to walk to the bus-stop and stand with a load of older kids he doesn’t know. Instead of being that big fish in a teeny pond, he’s a tiddler in an ocean.

The first day was fine: the school was only open to the new intake, so they had it to themselves. They were all in the same boat, all excited. He came home confident and happy, full of beans and optimism. When the second morning came around, he was raring to go. He had filled in his timetable, organised his books, packed up his PE kit, knew where his bus pass was.

That evening was a distinct downturn. This time, school had been full of much older, scarier kids; kids who swear and swagger, who are bigger and more confident, to whom these ‘little’ ones are a mere insignificance and something to poke a bit of fun at. He no longer especially wanted to go back. Not that he had been on the receiving end of anything unpleasant, but he’d got lost on the way to PE, not had anyone to sit next to on the bus, been told he had to play rugby the next day… all of which had rather knocked his nerve.

So we sat on the sofa when all his little brothers were in bed, and had a chat.

“It’s really taken me out of my comfort zone, Mum,” he said.

“Your primary school was a lovely, safe place,” I replied. I made a circle with my fingers. “Like this, this is your comfort zone. But the new school is much bigger.”

“Mrs Hill was always telling me to step out of my comfort zone!”

“Exactly, so you just need to give it time for your your comfort zone to expand and envelop this new school too. Before you know it, it will just be a part of that comfort zone.”

At that very moment, there was a knock at the door. A friend’s post had been misdirected and she had come to collect it. We filled her in on our conversation.

“Oh, don’t worry!” She replied, ever-so-breezily. “My two were always getting lost at the beginning. You can always ask – no one will mind! And next year, you’ll look at the younger ones arriving and remember how new and strange it all seemed!”

We sat back down on the sofa. He looked at me and said, “She was supposed to arrive, just at that moment, wasn’t she? To reassure me about it all.”

He went in to school the next morning, anxious but less scared. And it went swimmingly. He’s developing new friendships and he even enjoyed rugby!

The new High School may not ever be the cozy little family that the Cancer Moon managed to find in his primary school, but he will discover his core family once he’s settled in, and his Moon will be happy once more. In fact, next year I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he wasn’t helping the new arrivals to try to see it from a different perspective!

If you are interested in my services as a Children’s Astrologer, please visit www.alicestrology.com

 

Moon through the Signs: Aries to Cancer

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From the moment your child is born, understanding the Moon placement is of vital importance. Apart from being one of the ‘Big Three’ – Sun, Moon, Ascendant – this is because your child will live predominantly through his or her Moon for the first seven years of life. From 7 -14 Mercury takes over, then 14-21 Venus is in charge. The list goes on, but within the scope of this blog, this is the information we need for the sake of a child / young adult’s astrology.

In astrology, the Moon describes our experience of our mother; what conditions in life we need in order to feel safe and secure, our instinctive feelings, and the family situation into which we have been born… It is undoubtedly obvious, therefore, why it is the Moon through which¬† a human being lives during the first seven years of life, since we are utterly dependent upon our mother / family from the moment of birth, and the conditions of our homelife have so very much bearing on the rest of our lives – some of us can spend a lifetime trying to unravel our childhood! A Moon with difficult aspects will describe a trickier childhood than one with easier aspects, all of which I intend to look into over the course of the next few weeks.

In this series of articles I propose to describe the attributes of each Moonsign placement, with advice for how to counter difficulties and how to encourage strengths. If you are totally new to astrology and would like to know how to work out where your child’s Moon resides in his or her chart, please do feel free to leave me a message.

So, with no more delay, we’ll start at the ‘beginning’ of the zodiac with

Moon in Aries:

The sign of Aries is ruled by the planet Mars, which is the planet of energy, assertion,  independent action and spirit. The Moon in this sign describes a child who will become quite feisty and spirited when his or her feelings are tweaked. It can be a 0-60 mph in under 3 seconds kind of energy: from calm to superanimated (or superagitated)  in no time at all. The distressed Aries Moon will probably come at you fists first, or with an instant tongue-lashing, if they perceive a threat to their security. Quite often, the explosive reaction will not necessarily measure up to the actual feelings, and when it all blows over Рsometimes as quickly as it blew up Рthey will wonder what all the fuss was about. And rather regret the outburst.

The positive side to this placement is a child who can be very brave and independent. They don’t need anyone alongside them in order to feel safe and secure, but are quite happy to get on with it alone. They’re not much bothered whether others believe they are right but will tend to have the courage of their own convictions. This is an admirable strength to have… up to a point. Unchecked, there can be a tendency to overlook the feelings of others in favour of their own. They may need a little prompting to think about how others feel, too.

Parental tip:

  • Give your child the space he or she needs to explore their emotional environment. They’re likely to want to work it out alone, at least initially.
  • And encourage your Aries Moonchild to take a few deep breaths before reacting. A little time-out may help, or counting slowly to ten.

Moon in Taurus:

The Taurus Moon is a bit of a Comfort Nut. This child will probably want to come home from school and change straight into snuggly pyjamas, or cuddle up on a comfy sofa with a hot chocolate and something cozy on the television. Ruled by Venus, this little Moon needs lots of cuddles and good, rib-sticking food. It is this child who will be hanging around the kitchen waiting to lick the bowl, who can identify what is cooking when the merest whiff has penetrated upstairs.

Taurus is quite a steady and traditional sign, and this is reflected in the food tastes; in resistance to changes in life or in thinking; in reticence to stepping out of the comfort zone (literally and figuratively). It is your Taurus Moon who is the last to be ready for school because it’s warm in the kitchen, or there’s more porridge to be had…

There is a stubbornness about this placement, too: if the sweater is not quite right, there is nothing that will persuade him or her to wear it – it’s just too scratchy! But this bullish steadiness also means they are quite steadfast: they have a long fuse and are slow to anger.

Parental tip:

  • ¬†Comfort eating can become an issue with a Taurus Moonchild.
  • You’ll need to be patient. Not much can make this little one move faster than he or she wants to!

Moon in Gemini:

Ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication and thinking, this placement is a very ‘fizzy’ one! Here is a little one who likes to talk! Gemini tends to flit from flower to flower and this placement is no exception: the emotions can be very rapidly changeable. There is a danger here that the child might become too dependent on rationalising his or her feelings away, rather than allowing him- or herself to feel them. They will be very happy to talk about them, to consider them rationally, but you’ll need to encourage feeling them, too.

Whereas the Taurus Moonchild is very reluctant to even contemplate new ideas, the Gemini Moonchild thrives on them. Lots of different subjects are the delight of this child, but there is again a danger that he or she will bite off more than they can chew. It is difficult to go into anything in any depth if you are constantly moving onto the next hot topic. “Jack of all trades, Master of none…”!

Parental tip:

  • Try not to rationalise your Gemini Moonchild’s feelings, or explain them away. Encourage him or her to feel them and work through them.
  • You’ll need to encourage this little one to develop a bit of staying power and applied self-discipline.

Moon in Cancer:

The sign of Cancer is ruled by the Moon, so the Moon here is in its domicile and just about as happy and strong¬† as it can be. The sign of Cancer is all about motherhood, security, home and family and a Cancer Moonchild will have a very strong bond with these.¬† Because the Moon represents the mother, too, a Cancer Moon looks to his or her mother for a sense of stability and security, and to his or her family, too. These things are very important to them. They’re likely to be a ‘little mother’ in the home, too – looking after little brothers and sisters. This placement can produce a teenage boy, for example, who looks after the younger ones at school, then comes home and watches CBeebies (little kids’ tv) with his younger siblings. This is an enormously protective and defensive little person.

Parental tip:

  • Lots of nurturing attention is needed for this little one to feel secure.
  • Don’t be surprised if your Cancer Moonchild shows an unusual level of sensitivity, especially to perceived disapproval.
In the next article, I’ll be looking at the next four Moonsign placements: Leo, Virgo, Libra and Scorpio.
 
If you are interested in my services as a Children’s Astrologer, please visit www.alicestrology.com